Chapter 10: The Bright Side of “No”

Lately, we’ve been getting pretty cozy with the word “no.” It’s been popping up a lot—sometimes wrapped in constructive feedback, sometimes delivered with corporate buzzwords, and occasionally served plain and cold like leftovers (or sad granola) you didn’t ask for.

We’re in that messy stretch of building where the conversations get bigger, the stakes feel higher, and the spreadsheets multiply (like literally so many...) We’re pitching, proposing, applying, and—deep breath—putting ourselves out there. And with that comes a whole chorus of reactions: some cheering us on, some gently steering us, and some slamming the door.

And still—we’re learning to love it.

Because every “no” means we asked the question. We made the call. We tried. And that means we’re moving. We’re learning.

As a team of minority women, we’ve heard our fair share of “no’s”—spoken and unspoken. We’ve navigated life in the in-between: between cultures, expectations, and definitions that never quite fit. We’ve gotten good at cheering ourselves on when the world stayed quiet.

So yes, some of these “no’s” hit a little harder than others. But they’re also a sign that we’re doing the real work!! That we believe there’s a place for us in the room—and we’re finding it. That we’re choosing growth over comfort, curiosity over fear.

In the beginning, we were lucky to be lifted by support—family, friends, and kind strangers who believed in us. Now, the feedback is a little more savory. And that’s a good thing, we asked for it. It means we’re being taken seriously and considered critically. It means people see what we see.

We’ll take the “no’s.” The not-yets. The try-agains. Each is an opportunity lived. Because they mean we’re getting closer to the right yes—the kind that sticks.

And until then? We’ll keep asking. We’ll keep showing up. We’ve got questions, grit, and savory oats. We’re not going anywhere.